I didn't cut my toenails for a year. Curiously, it taught me a lot about the Labour party.

Jayne Carvorda

My husband has always prized my well-maintained phalanges. I've seen the salacious WhatsApp messages he would send his 'lad friends'. But he's learnt to love my new avian-like talons. And, perhaps, in a roundabouts way, so could Sir Keir Starmer as he presses ahead with his reform of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition. So, as I carefully tease them out of my doomed Jimmy Choo pumps, I say, "Sir Keir, they're all...